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Post by ratty on Nov 13, 2024 0:07:55 GMT
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Post by ratty on Nov 13, 2024 2:29:51 GMT
Why Some Men Have Dogs and Not Wives.......
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you must raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
To test this theory: Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you!
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Post by Sigurdur on Nov 13, 2024 16:56:29 GMT
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Post by ratty on Nov 13, 2024 22:36:29 GMT
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Post by Sigurdur on Nov 14, 2024 18:11:37 GMT
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Post by ratty on Nov 14, 2024 22:46:05 GMT
There is hope for an end to woke! |
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Post by ratty on Nov 16, 2024 23:12:14 GMT
Humour?  " |
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Post by ratty on Nov 17, 2024 6:38:54 GMT
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Post by ratty on Nov 17, 2024 10:50:37 GMT
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Post by gridley on Nov 17, 2024 13:44:56 GMT
And the Australian military trusts them with Stinger missiles... :-) |
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Post by Sigurdur on Nov 17, 2024 14:32:13 GMT
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Post by ratty on Nov 17, 2024 22:00:49 GMT
A couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. One evening, she asked if she could take a bath. The woman of the house explained they didn’t have a proper bathroom, but she could use the tin bath in front of the fire.
“Monday’s the best night,” the woman added, “when my husband’s out at darts.”
The girl agreed, and the following Monday, the woman filled the tin bath for her. As the girl undressed, the woman noticed something surprising—she didn’t have any pubic hair.
Curious, the woman mentioned it to her husband later that night. He didn’t believe her. “You’re making that up,” he said.
“Well, next Monday, leave darts a little early and watch from the garden. I’ll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself,” she suggested.
The following Monday, as the girl prepared for her bath, the wife casually asked, “Do you shave?”
“No,” the girl replied. “I’ve just never grown hair down there. Do you have any?”
“Oh, plenty,” said the woman, lifting her nightdress to show off her abundance. The girl, unbothered, finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when her husband returned, the wife asked, “Well? Did you see?”
“I did,” he replied. “But why on earth did you have to show her yours?”
“What does it matter?” she said. “You’ve seen it plenty of times.”
“I know,” he groaned, “but the dart team hadn’t!”
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Post by ratty on Nov 19, 2024 22:32:49 GMT
One day, a policeman is strolling down the street when he notices a tiny boy standing in front of a house, desperately trying to reach the doorbell. The boy, however, is too small, and the doorbell is just out of his grasp.
The policeman watches for a moment, amused, before walking over. Gently placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, he leans forward and rings the doorbell for him with a quick press.
Squatting down to the boy’s level, the policeman grins and asks, "So, what do we do now, little guy?"
The boy looks up with a mischievous smile and replies, "Run!"
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Post by ratty on Nov 20, 2024 11:42:04 GMT
Not funny ...  |
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Post by ratty on Nov 21, 2024 9:49:16 GMT
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