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Post by ratty on Sept 29, 2024 21:13:06 GMT
A man is on his deathbed, and he asks his wife, “Martha, soon I will be gone forever, and there's something I have to know. In all these 50 years of marriage, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Martha replied, "Well, Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason." Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'" Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker, and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?" Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?" Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge." "I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time." "Alright," Martha said. "Do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed seventy-three more votes?"
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Post by code on Sept 30, 2024 4:46:24 GMT
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Post by ratty on Sept 30, 2024 22:37:01 GMT
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Post by Sigurdur on Oct 1, 2024 0:41:14 GMT
Musta been a liberal there.
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Post by ratty on Oct 2, 2024 4:20:32 GMT
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Post by ratty on Oct 3, 2024 7:14:13 GMT
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Post by code on Oct 3, 2024 17:42:04 GMT
I forgot to mention it reminds me of Joe Biden
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Post by ratty on Oct 4, 2024 21:01:34 GMT
An 86-year-old man was waiting in the Double Dutch Bar to have some drinks with an old mate. While he was waiting for his mate a gorgeous girl enters the bar and sits down a few seats away from where he was sitting. The girl is so attractive that the old guy just can’t take his eyes off her. After a short while, the girl notices that he’s staring at her, and approaches him. Before the old guy even has time to apologise for his staring, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone, “I’ll do anything you’d like me to do. Whatever you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn’t matter how unusual or extreme it might be, I’m game. I only want $100, and there’s one other condition.” Completely blown away by the sudden turn of events, the old guy asks her what that one condition is. Well she says; “You have to tell me exactly what you want me to do and you can only use three words to describe it.” The old man takes a few seconds and considers the offer from that gorgeous girl. He takes out his wallet and gives a $100 dollars to the girl. He then looks her straight in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly, 'Paint my house.'
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Post by ratty on Oct 4, 2024 21:07:51 GMT
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Post by ratty on Oct 4, 2024 21:15:09 GMT
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Post by ratty on Oct 9, 2024 22:48:04 GMT
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Post by ratty on Oct 12, 2024 11:00:46 GMT
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Post by phydeaux2363 on Oct 14, 2024 21:39:34 GMT
Is that Marty Feldman on the right?
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Post by ratty on Oct 14, 2024 22:19:52 GMT
Is that Marty Feldman on the right? The ayes eyes have it!
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Post by ratty on Oct 15, 2024 7:35:31 GMT
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