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Post by ratty on Feb 28, 2024 9:34:56 GMT
A man stops into a biker bar for a drink ...
As he is sitting there staring at his drink a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly and the man burst into tears.
"This is the worst day of my life!" he says "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have insurance. I left my wallet in the uber I took home. I found my wife with another man and my dog bit me"
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
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Post by ratty on Feb 29, 2024 0:19:48 GMT
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Post by missouriboy on Feb 29, 2024 1:27:30 GMT
Civil War through the eyes of the Red Counties. Or don't feed the RINOs.
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Post by ratty on Mar 4, 2024 22:39:34 GMT
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Post by Sigurdur on Mar 6, 2024 4:05:06 GMT
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Post by ratty on Mar 7, 2024 12:36:12 GMT
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Post by ratty on Mar 9, 2024 11:02:53 GMT
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Post by blustnmtn on Mar 9, 2024 13:56:30 GMT
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Post by missouriboy on Mar 9, 2024 20:16:05 GMT
But the guitarist is still carbon fed.
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Post by missouriboy on Mar 14, 2024 20:08:42 GMT
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Post by ratty on Mar 24, 2024 21:18:50 GMT
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt - but no body had been found.
When giving the closing statement, his high-flying lawyer knew there was a good chance of him being convicted.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” said the lawyer. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.”
She turned and pointed to the courtroom door.
The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly.
A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally, the lawyer said, “Actually I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation.
I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate.
A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
“But how?” inquired the lawyer.
“You must have had some doubt - I saw all of you stare at the door!”
“Oh, we did," replied the jury foreman, "but your client didn’t.”
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Post by ratty on Mar 24, 2024 21:52:10 GMT
Telstra is our biggest internet provider ...
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Post by ratty on Mar 25, 2024 7:59:42 GMT
Should this go on the 'State of Climate Science' thread?
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Post by ratty on Mar 25, 2024 9:27:23 GMT
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Post by ratty on Mar 25, 2024 10:40:43 GMT
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