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Post by ratty on May 20, 2024 2:10:32 GMT
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Post by ratty on May 20, 2024 9:46:49 GMT
A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was very upset.
_"You are a disrēspêctful pīg!"_ she cried. _"How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce, NOW!"_
The husband calmly replied, _"Hang on just a minute love. At least let me tell you what happened."_
_"Fine, go ahead",_ the wife sobbed, _"but they will be the last words you say to me!"_
The husband began:
_"Well, as I was getting into the car at work to drive home, this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so distressed, helpless and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car."_
_"She was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty and told me that she hadn't eaten for three days."_
_"Out of compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the pizza I made for you last night that you wouldn’t eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing ate it, ravenously."_
_"She was dirty. I suggested she have a shower. While showering, I noticed her clothes were filthy and threadbare. I threw them away."_
_"I gave her the designer jeans that you’ve had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight."_
_"I gave her underwear, your anniversary present from me, which you don’t wear because you said I don't have good taste."_
_"I gave her the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her. I also donated those boots you bought at an expensive boutique but don’t wear because someone at work has the same pair."_
The husband paused, took a quick breath and continued:
_"She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Please sir... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”
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Post by ratty on May 20, 2024 12:17:47 GMT
Humour?  |
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Post by ratty on May 20, 2024 22:53:18 GMT
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Post by blustnmtn on May 20, 2024 22:56:45 GMT
Amen.
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Post by Sigurdur on May 25, 2024 0:36:36 GMT
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Post by ratty on May 25, 2024 22:55:44 GMT
There is no stunt double here ....
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Post by ratty on May 26, 2024 0:20:21 GMT
After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, and proceeded to ask in a loving voice,
‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
He responded: 'I found the remote.'...😂
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Post by Sigurdur on May 27, 2024 17:41:08 GMT
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Post by ratty on May 27, 2024 21:41:56 GMT
Hey Sig, if you replace the leading 'x' with 'twitter', your posts will display on the forum. |
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Post by Sigurdur on May 27, 2024 22:44:43 GMT
Hey Sig, if you replace the leading 'x' with 'twitter', your posts will display on the forum. Thank YOU!! |
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Post by ratty on May 27, 2024 23:44:50 GMT
Hey Sig, if you replace the leading 'x' with 'twitter', your posts will display on the forum. Thank YOU!! $US100.00, used bills. |
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Post by Sigurdur on May 28, 2024 0:13:59 GMT
Thank YOU!![/quote]$US100.00, used bills.[/quote]
Sorry, no used bills available. They have to go through the washer and dry, still fresh off the press.
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Post by ratty on May 28, 2024 21:22:54 GMT
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Post by ratty on May 30, 2024 23:20:43 GMT
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