ABBOTT AND COSTELLO’S ‘WHO’S ON FIRST’ ……updated version.
Bud: ‘You can’t come in here!’ Lou: ‘Why not?’ Bud: ‘Well because you’re unvaccinated.’ Lou: ‘But I’m not sick.’ Bud: ‘It doesn’t matter.’ Lou: ‘Well, why does that guy get to go in?’ Bud: ‘Because he’s vaccinated.’ Lou: ‘But he’s sick!’ Bud: ‘It’s alright. Everyone in here is vaccinated.’ Lou: ‘Wait a minute. Are you saying everyone in there is vaccinated?’ Bud: ‘Yes.’ Lou: ‘So then why can’t I go in there if everyone is vaccinated?’ Bud: ‘Because you’ll make them sick.’ Lou: ‘How will I make them sick if I’m NOT sick and they’re vaccinated.’ Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’ Lou: ‘But they’re vaccinated.’ Bud: ‘But they can still get sick.’ Lou: ‘So what the heck does the vaccine do?’ Bud: ‘It vaccinates.’ Lou: ‘So vaccinated people can’t spread covid?’ Bud: ‘Oh no. They can spread covid just as easily as an unvaccinated person.’ Lou: ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Look. I’m not sick. Bud: ‘Ok.’ Lou: ‘And the guy you let in IS sick.’ Bud: ‘That’s right.’ Lou: ‘And everybody in there can still get sick even though they’re vaccinated.’ Bud: ‘Certainly.’ Lou: ‘So why can’t I go in again?’ Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’ Lou: ‘I’m not asking who’s vaccinated or not!’ Bud: ‘I’m just telling you how it is.’ Lou: ‘Nevermind. I’ll just put on my mask.’ Bud: ‘That’s fine.’ Lou: ‘Now I can go in?’ Bud: ‘Absolutely not?’ Lou: ‘But I have a mask!’ Bud: ‘Doesn’t matter.’ Lou: ‘I was able to come in here yesterday with a mask.’ Bud: ‘I know.’ Lou: So why can’t I come in here today with a mask? ….If you say ‘because I’m unvaccinated’ again, I’ll break your arm.’ Bud: ‘Take it easy buddy.’ Lou: ‘So the mask is no good anymore.’ Bud: ‘No, it’s still good.’ Lou: ‘But I can’t come in?’ Bud: ‘Correct.’ Lou: ‘Why not?’ Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’ Lou: ‘But the mask prevents the germs from getting out.’ Bud: ‘Yes, but people can still catch your germs.’ Lou: ‘But they’re all vaccinated.’
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.” -Samuel Adams
